Being Hueman or HUH!!??man

Yesterday I was a HUH!!??man. In fact, I was having a cup of tea with a friend and one of my very first Melbourne clients from over 10 years ago and he asked me what I had been up to and how I was. Interesting question. Do I answer like most people and say “getting there” I mean, where is ‘there’ anyway? Always found that answer curious. Or, do I answer as though I had asked him the same question. I value openness and honesty so let’s just say I want the truth and yes I can handle the truth so here goes….

Here is when the HUHman came into play. The what the? The HUH?!! You know, the times when everything seems to go wrong or you feel that every thought is a complaint and every work that comes out of your mouth is negative. You know, really shitty times that may be a tag over exaggerated when you look back? Or, like me at the moment, all those balls I was juggling neatly above my head in a ”halo” (all angelic like) seem to spin faster and faster so much so that I couldn’t keep them up there any more and one by one they smashed to the ground in quick succession.

I did notice a while back that this was happening but I didn’t want to see it so I ignored it and hoped that it would improve. That it was temporary and that everything would get back on track. On track, like these beautiful creatures we see everywhere, the ones who have it all together, in love with life and generally making me feel worse about me not being in love with mine right now. Hang on! The truth is they can not make me feel anything. I am the one responsible for my feelings. Ok, focus! where was I….

Oh yes, so, how are you? Ok so just for the record you did ask, so here it is.

Warning….this is my volcano moment.

My view on living a well-life (wellness) -living a best life seems to differ from many. I’m looking at 9 dimensions: financial wellness, social , spiritual, intellectual, physical, emotional, mindset, environmental and career wellness. Not like many people who say ”wow, I feel so much better now, I wont need you until something else breaks”. Hmmm, wellness is maintaining, preventing, not fix it and wait for it to break. But this is a whole different story.

Take a breath. S*’s getting real.

Let’s take a look at something else- financial wellness. I am in debt. There I said it. I don’t like this feeling as I like to be in control. Social wellness, well, I am not feeling like myself lately and not a very good friend right now either. I dread being asked how I am to be honest. I love connection as I said so not being social really hurts. I want to stay in bed and dream but I wake up with anxiety and all sweaty from my adrenal glands working over time trying to get me to focus on one thing at once and chill the f* out. Physical wellness. I own a Wellness centre so you would think I would have this s* covered -all over! Well, when you forget, ignore, get busy, lazy and drop the ball or whatever you want to call it – no excuse really- shit happens to your body and mind. You lose it and gain it and not in the right way. I am grateful that I am being taught all these lessons and that I needed to get here to be able to get there but I have made it worse for myself by not sticking to it.

I even had the man flu! My body and mind were saying slow down HUH!!??man and be a hueman. Accept all your hues, your colours and love them all for they all serve you. This isn’t about +ve VS -ve either as I believe there is negative in positive and visa versa – again, another story.

bulb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tangent!

I couldn’t keep stepping over all those balls on the floor any more.

After my download with my friend I felt much better. I felt clearer. Like I knew what to do. Doing something is better than nothing in this case. I started using my fitness tracker and food app again to keep me on track. I tend to over do the portion size – I come from a generous family so this helps me. I started writing again which I love and got some things crossed off my ‘work to do’ list that were bugging me. I got out my budget ready to work on in the morning, and while it was sunny and a little bit warm, I went outside with my dog Cardi and some music and went to the part and did a 25 min workout which I recorded and uploaded for anyone feeling like me and wanting to just move. No, I didn’t have a bikini on ???? Upbeat music. I love music and found some old school dance music and then Indian style really suited me on that occasion – who knew music and movement really does lift you up!

I am now focusing on the process not the outcome. I made a date with a friend of mine to catch up and got some new ideas to implement to provide more value to people’s lives. i’ve scheduled in my exercise sessions and my appointments with my life supporters. Because if I could do everything by myself I would already be where I want to be by now. By doing something, one by one, one at a time, is better than burying your head under the covers and going back to bed. Embracing all the ‘hues’ of begin ‘human’ and that includes the HUH’s as well.